On our honeymoon…blissfully unaware.
It was in November of 2011 that I found out I was pregnant. Topher and I had been married all of 5 minutes (real time= 4 weeks). I was working at an interior design firm at the time in River Oaks and Kris and I had hastily decided that we wanted to live in that area, a mere 2 minutes away from my work. We found the apartment the week before our wedding…seriously we went to go look at the place on Thursday afternoon and sent the deposit Thursday evening. I will forever blame this hasty decision on wedding brain. Wedding brain= crazy/stupid decisions made while your brain is clearly only able to focus on planning your dream wedding. Word to the wise…don’t make big life altering decisions the week before your wedding. Maybe not even the month before. Just don’t.
Kris had just moved to Houston a few weeks before and had just secured a job that he would be starting the Monday we returned from our honeymoon. What can I say… we were eager to get our lives/loose ends tied up and the thought of coming back to my parent’s house after our honeymoon was less than appealing. All this to say that when we found out we were pregnant we were living in a hole. It was a good deal in a nice area…but a hole nevertheless.
I don’t know what happened on that day we went to go look at this apartment…maybe the sun was shining just right to make everything look sparkly, maybe aliens invaded our brains, or maybe we were so blinded by the wedding that was a mere three days away that we just dove in without a second thought.
We had been living there about two weeks when I awoke in the middle of the night with a sharp abdominal pain unlike anything I had ever felt. To this day I’m still not sure what that pain was but I remember the first thought I had when I experienced it “am I pregnant?” I told Kris immediately and he promised that we would go get a pregnancy test first thing in the morning…except that we didn’t. Like most things in life we put it off and we were left to wonder all day… That evening we got home and after a quick glance at our bank account realized we wouldn’t be getting a pregnancy test that evening either. Pregnancy tests are esspensive ya’ll and we knew all of our bills were about to hit so we told each other that this weekend we would definitely go get one…or two…or five.
The next day we went to the hospital…and no we aren’t hasty we were actually visiting my cousin Matt and his wife Jenn (I know right, how dare she?) and their new baby Nolan. Trust me, the irony was not lost on us. Here we are on the edge of our seat wondering if we’re pregnant and we’re visiting this adorable little baby, not to mention all the other adorable babies we spied at in the nursery…except that most of those random babies weren’t so cute. Let’s be honest most newborns look like alien spawn. Except for Matt and Jenn’s…and ours…and yours (of course your baby is adorable). So here we were at the hospital and about 50% of our family are making comments like “you guys are next” and “Nolan needs a playmate!” Oh if they had only known. Kris and I were shaking in our boots. So that weekend Kris and I went to Randall’s and got a pregnancy test. We picked up a two-pack and in case you didn’t know pregnancy tests are only sold in two packs. You have to make super sure right? So we get home and I pee on the stick (TMI- my apologies) and I didn’t know there was more than one way to pee on a stick but somehow the first go round I manage to do it wrong and the lines are too faint to really make much of them. So now we’re down to one test and I immediately send Kris out to get another two-pack. I mean they must sell two-packs for a reason right? It’s not just some consumer ploy to sell more pregnancy tests…um….
So 15 minutes and 40 buckeroos later (can’t exactly buy the great value brand of pregnancy test, this is not the place to scrimp people!) Kris gets back with another two-pack. Let’s keep in mind that this is my pre-prego bladder…and it’s pretty fantastic, it’s been keeping me out of public restrooms (90% of the time) for 24 years. So of course I don’t have to pee…the suspense was definitely building.
We decide to take our pups for a walk and I down two water bottles in the process. We get back and and I’m good to go. First pregnancy test down. We wait the excruciatingly long two minutes until the results show. I don’t think two minutes have ever lasted so long. Time seriously stretched into eternity…
We finally managed to flip over the test and stare. There it was. Now I don’t really recall and I haven’t taken enough pregnancy tests to be an expert so I don’t remember if it was two lines…or a smiley face…or a stork playing a trumpet…but whatever symbol means “pregnancy” was showing up crystal clear.
This was it. My plans were suddenly out the window and life was setting in. and hard. BUT this was only the first test…we still had another box to get through.
More water bottles.
More dog walking.
More stork trumpeteers.
We were convinced. Kris was so excited. He was grinning from ear to ear and asking who we wanted to call first. Now here’s a little background. Kris loves babies. And children. Way back when we first started dating he told me that one of his big hesitations about me was that I never wanted to have children…something I used to say in college. I mean let’s be honest- I’m a selfish gal. I grew up as the only girl in a family with two children. My brother and I were pretty spoiled and had wonderfully amazing parents who worked their tooshies off to get us everything we wanted and they thought we deserved…spoiler alert- I probably most definitely didn’t deserve it. So somewhere in high school I decided that I never wanted children so I could be a high powered career woman (truth is I actually still picture that for myself…the only difference now is that instead of heading off to work everyday I have made it possible for me to work at home). In college I had visions of being the next Kelly Wearstler… and while she is pretty much perfection in everything that she does and managed to have two children while designing the most mouth-watering spaces I have ever seen I just omitted that piece of the equation when envisioning my future.
So here I was in college spouting off these grandiose statements about never wanting children and probably sounding like the witch from Hansel and Gretel. Little did I know I was telling this all to the man I would one day marry. After Kris and I had been dating for about a month he told me about a dream he had where him and I were both in bed on a Saturday morning and all of a sudden this little boy ran in who had dark brown hair and startling green eyes and jumped on top of us. I stared at Kris and acted like I was totally freaked out that he told me this…secretly my heart was soaring because this was the first time I wasn’t completely disgusted at the thought of having children…maybe I had just needed to find the right person to have them with. I tucked this day away in my brain as one of my favorites. It was just one of the sweetest things a boy had ever said to me. So slowly but surely I was warming up to the idea of having kids (as long as they were Kris’ of course) and I started telling myself that by the time I’m 30 I’ll totally be ready.
Well. Here we were in our little hole of an apartment…in an even more holier (we’re not talking Jesus folks) of a bathroom. We’ve got three count ‘em three affirmative pregnancy tests and I’m nowhere near 30. I’m just barely almost halfway there. Did that make sense? No? ok. I was twenty-four. Twenty-four a half really (that’s right I just kindergardened my age for you). Terrified can only begin to really describe how I felt in that moment…
…to be continued.